“If you believe, all things are possible..”
Bremnes (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
After the prayer was prayed, my heart sank. No there was no miracle and Kari did not rise off her wheel chair. My heart further melted in my ribs and sank somewhere in nether world. Do you believe in miracles? Kari did, and the light in her eyes was now a fire that scared me.
She worked her wheelchair like a princess in the arm of her throne, and looked up at me. How much am I allowed to say here in a Blog post ?
Can I really say how wildly you startle me / am stunned at the energy within you that re-defines Faith. It kills me that you can still smile like that, that you have DARE all over your gentle face. And that you can tell me your deepest prayer has been answered…
that the mountain of fear and doubt within you has been moved and been, like you say,cast into the sea.That you don’t need just legs, you needed your will and it came right back to you. That Belief, is a thing we need, the ability to stand tall, even if not physically.
As I write this, am still staring at Kari, the way she can stand tall in her spirit and it shows in her young body, so assaulted by illness..
I do not know how to end this post. People like Kari, with the indomitable will to live and live well, defy gravity….inspire me to write.
” I was falling, deep blue sky, deep deep air,
falling down into nothing, crashing,
and then you put a pause on Gravity,
I stood there,
flying-
‘ falling’ no longer applied….”
Hope (Photo credit: bitzcelt)
New words hit my face. Have you too not had moments like these ? When the physical in you was overpowered by the Unseen within ? And ‘Impossible’ became possible…
have you too not had times when you thought the feet would not move? There was no evidence of strength, but something in another startled you back to life, so that you saw something you never saw before ?
……………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Then there’s Jaci, 17 years old, the prognosis is not nice, but she is glowing. How on earth do you do it Jacintha? What keeps you that positive , tubes in your side and the doctors worried at all your optimism… that it is merely a false energy keeping you blinded from the reality of death.
I met Jacintha last week one afternoon, and all the words I had thought to say slunk away like sheepish cur. Jacie grinned at me and said she was just fine.
What d’you mean just fine ?
She pulled my arm and said, ” I have my exams! Pray for me…”
The words sit there like creatures from a world without Gravity, and Graves. Or earth. Or earth pulls. Whatever am I saying.
Is it okay to rave and rant ?
Is this allowed in our normal day of logical thinkers and wise sayers ?
Is it okay to admit how little we all know, really.
Jaci has Peace.
Like Kari and others we have met along the way to here, accept it or not, and they baffle our arguments about ‘ fatalists’ and others who accept eventualities. Karma philosophers and analysts of things am not Doctor of.
” Believe’ is such an abstract invisible word… .
Bena ( another acquaintance, name changed), has a son half way across the world and in a tangle that isn’t going to end in a hurry : a middle-aged son with a broken life and rearing to end it all…
” Hope” Bena says,” I’ve written the word ” Hope” on my wrist…”
I know you will not let go Bena. Yes there is more to existence, even if we cannot see it. For what use is Hope, if we can see it ? But if we will not see it in our innermost being, then how will we conceive of it- birth it? Do not even mountain goats know some secrets of the Universe ? Who tells an animal about instinct, where does love live, is it visible, except when we have actualized it ? Aren’t there things we do not know exist, but they are there?
Like the centre of the Universe, and a krzillion other addresses that we cannot see, yet they are there, like you… other side of this screen. 
Like your breath, and that heart and mind we cannot touch, but we read the essence in each others’ lives and eyes, like I saw in Kari’s eyes and Jaci’s…
so why are we such a yelling bunch of ‘ dont believe-babes’… what the hell have you against Hope? Or Faith,( yeah I know, spell F any other way, I choose Faith and Believe….
Written with love,
RN
- (Photo credit: dany13)
- C0006/Hypolimnas Bolina Jacintha/male on the shadow/Koh Chang Island/ (Photo credit: dany13)
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Even though I have HOPE tattooed on my wrist, and am working with those who struggle with belief, and are tethered to life by the face of a child, I so needed to read this myself. So I thank you, and hope I can remember it in the face of struggles I am dealing with. Thank you.
Marisa, this means the world to me that there’s still people like you in this world. You remind me of Hope y’know. Your life and work, the love you have for Renee and M., and the kids you hold dear … across the ocean, the miles are nothing, cuz U reflect the face of God in Times that are so thick with conflict. I love love the pic of your hand with ” Hope” tattooed on it. SO tempted to go and get one myself… Hope tattoo). This I know… you are ‘tethered’ to the best thing in this world….